I just want a phone. Is that too much to ask?

Subtitle: How to disable Google Now Cards (that keep annoying you) when you swipe left (right? up? argh, fuck this shit!)

I own an Android phone.

In an effort to get rid of a feature that came with updates I’ve been going through dozens and dozens of settings. Unsuccessful, at wit’s end, writing angry loner feedback to Google support (also known as /dev/null) begging for them to make it easy for users to opt out of what I consider intrusive garbage when it turns out I can simply replace the launcher.

Google Now: Brought to you by a company that makes ~77% of its revenues from advertising, otherwise known as the “World’s most honest business model.”


KISS Android Launcher
Bonus feature: All my searches are now redirected to Wikipedia and/or DuckDuckGo.

KISS is a programming principle that stands for “Keep it simple, stupid!” The KISS Launcher code is GPL and available on GitHub. The Kiss Launcher app is available for free on Google Play.


Spellcheck English + French At The Same Time On Android

On Android you can spellcheck multiple languages by switching to them, on-the-fly, using the space bar:


To set up this feature go into settings under “Language & input” then select “Google Keyboard:”


Select “Languages:”


Disable “Use system language” and select the languages you want to spellcheck against: