Subtitle: How to disable Google Now Cards (that keep annoying you) when you swipe left (right? up? argh, fuck this shit!)
I own an Android phone.
In an effort to get rid of a feature that came with updates I’ve been going through dozens and dozens of settings. Unsuccessful, at wit’s end, writing angry loner feedback to Google support (also known as /dev/null) begging for them to make it easy for users to opt out of what I consider intrusive garbage when it turns out I can simply replace the launcher.